The Goats Are Loose for the Holidays

(Monte Dutton photo)

Complete Supply of Ink and Toner Cartridges

Clinton, South Carolina, Friday, December 23, 2016, 11:58 a.m.

I need to knock this blog out. Eastern Michigan is playing Old Dominion in the Popeyes Bahamas Bowl in about two hours. I’d hate to have my attention divided.

After all, I once owned an Eastern Michigan tee shirt. It was given me by the athletic director at the request of the Detroit columnist Joe Falls. Joe isn’t with us anymore, but once upon a time, he drove out to Michigan International Speedway, and we had a chat, probably because he was sitting next to me in either the media center or the press box, and I mentioned that I was lodged in Ypsilanti, and I hadn’t even been able to find an EMU tee shirt in the stores.

By Monte Dutton

About a month later, I got a handwritten note from the athletic director to the effect that Joe Falls had instructed him to send me a tee shirt.

I never had that kind of clout with my family, let alone a public institution of higher learning.

As for Old Dominion, I once applied for a sports information job there. I don’t think the school even replied.

So I’m for Eastern Michigan, and rest in peace, Joe Falls.

I wonder what happened to that tee shirt.

The Bowl games are falling two and three a day. Before they started, I wrote down all the point spreads and picked the games. I didn’t bet them because that would be, like, illegal. Going into the Bahamas Bowl, with Navy-Louisiana Tech and Troy-Ohio U. to follow before bedtime, I am 6-3.

Had I put money on all those games, I’m confident I’d be 3-6. A little-known codicil in the Cosmic College handbook bases the outcome of all bowl games on whether or not I had money on the line. A whole section details all the ways I’m a whiz at anything that doesn’t make money.

Christmas beckons. I’ve been tracking the deliveries to a few special young’uns, all two generations removed from mine. Kids come first and quite often only because all of us are having trouble making ends meet.

I lost my train of thought there for a few minutes. Jimmy the Goat is loose on the streets of Mayberry.

Stop by L&L Office Supply, 114 North Broad Street, Clinton and buy one of my novels. Buy Cowboys Come Home, Forgive Us Our Trespasses, Crazy of Natural Causes, The Intangibles, and/or a volume of my short stories, Longer Songs. They’re all signed and reasonably priced.

(Jennifer Skutelsky cover design)

If you’d like me to ship you a signed copy, you can find my address and instructions here. If you want to speed the process up, send me a note and I’ll hook you up with my PayPal account.

(Cover design by Jennifer Skutelsky)

(Cover design by Jennifer Skutelsky)

Kindle versions – you don’t have to have a Kindle, just a free app for your electronic devices – of most of my books are available here. Note that my third novel, Crazy of Natural Causes, is on Kindle sale at $.99 for the entire month. Links to print copies are below.

Cowboys Come Home is my brand-new, fresh-off-the-press western, a tale of two World War II veterans of the Pacific who come back home to Texas, intent on resuming their cowboy ways.

Forgive Us Our Trespasses is the latest. It’s a tale about a crooked politician who wants to be governor, whatever it takes, and another man trying to stop him. It’s outrageous.(Melanie Ryon cover design)

Crazy of Natural Causes is about the fall and rise of Chance Benford, a Kentucky football coach who reinvents himself. It’s original.

The Intangibles is about the South in the 1960s, complete with racial strife, bigotry, resentment, cultural exchange and, of course, high school football.

(Crystal Lynn cover photo)

(Crystal Lynn cover photo)

The Audacity of Dope is the tale of Riley Mansfield, a pot-smoking songwriter turned national hero with a taste for the former and a distaste for the latter.

Longer Songs is a collection of 11 short stories that all began in songs I wrote.

Follow me at Facebook (Monte.Dutton), Twitter (@montedutton), Google+ (MonteDuttonWriter) and/or Instagram (Tug50).

(Design by Steven Novak)

(Design by Steven Novak)

About Monte

For 20 seasons, I mostly wrote about NASCAR. I'm still paying attention, but I'm spending more of my time these days writing novels and songs. I try to blog regularly on whatever happens to strike my fancy.
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