Clinton, South Carolina, Wednesday, December 31, 2014, 9:18 a.m.
Resolutions. It sounds like a game show.
Today I’m supposed to come up with a New Year’s Resolution. Or, preferably, many.
I don’t believe in them. I’ve reached the age where I’m resistant to change and resigned to fate. I’m Popeye the Sailor Man. Iyam what Iyam.
A Southern tradition holds that, on New Year’s Day, a family has a meal highlighted by collard greens and black-eyed peas. My late father had a fundamentalist bent where this meal was concerned and insisted on additional items such as pork livers, backbones, neckbones, and other obscure outposts of carnivorous desperation. Supposedly, the greens stand for paper money and the peas for coins*. If one slogs through this meal once a year, the theory holds, the fresh year will undoubtedly be prosperous.
One year, oh, at least a decade ago now, I told my mother that, since we had all lived for many years without once becoming rich, why not dispense with this nonsense?
Oh, me of little faith.
No resolutions for me, thanks. I’d rather go with the peas and collards.
A man’s got to ponder something, though, with a new Year of Our Lord beckoning. I’ll make a few suggestions:
- NASCAR. Leave it the bleep alone.
- David Letterman. Reconsider.
- Taylor Swift. At some point, the whining is going to get old. I know it pays well now.
- America. Start paying attention to people who are smart.
- Sports in general. TV isn’t everything.
- Congress. Have lunch together every now and again.
- Stephen Colbert. Don’t change too damn much.
- The United States of Anger. Spend some time trying to figure out whatever happened to peace, love, and understanding.
- Politicians. Think principle, not polls.
- Kids. As soon as you learn how to read, learn how to enjoy it.
I could go on all day, leaning back in the easy chair, reading the Twitter feed, and occasionally leaning forward again to add another nugget of would-be (as in, if anyone other than me) wisdom.
But … pretty soon Ole Miss is going to be playing Texas Christian, and then there’s Boise State versus Arizona, and, next thing you know, Mississippi State will be taking on Georgia Tech.
*At first, I chose the word “change” instead of “coins,” but then I realized change seldom occurs in these parts.
The blog at www.wellpilgrim.wordpress.com covers my overtly fictitious thoughts. Here I try to herd my thoughts on things that really happen. I have written books by both methods, and they are available here among other places: http://www.amazon.com/Monte-Dutton/e/B005H3B144/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1416767492&sr=8-1