Clinton, S.C., Sunday, February 16, 2014, 2:46 p.m.
I’m just sitting behind my laptop, and Daytona 500 pole qualifying on. It might as well be The Weather Channel, other than that particular channel not being on DirecTV anymore.
It’s better than WeatherNation.
All those cars – 49, I think – going around twice, all alone, the first lap intentionally slow, all following the same line and looking just alike, even though some were faster than others and that was the whole purpose for going around and around.
In most instances, intricacy and subtlety come into play. The only place that takes place for Daytona International Speedway (or Talladega Superspeedway) qualifying is behind closed doors.
What you see is what you get, and it is boring.
Fortunately, the Sprint Unlimited gave us some opening excitement to whet our appetites. For instance, the pace car caught on fire, which I think was borrowed from a Harold Lloyd silent movie.
So it was a Model T in the original. It’s all relative.
So why, pray tell, is this on network TV? I thought about this at length, and it occurred to me that this is actually more interesting for a larger audience. I wrote about NASCAR for 20 years. I know this too well. If I was a complete novice – if, say, I was channel surfing, and neither cross-country skiing, the Northern Trust Open, nor the Professional Bowling Association struck my fancy – I might look at Daytona 500 front-row qualifying in an entirely different light.
Oh, yeah, the Daytona 500. It’s that car race. Look at that blue and white car. It’s really quite snazzy. Bernice! Come watch. This is sort of neat.
If Herbert and Bernice like this, they’ll think the Daytona 500 is the greatest thing since Joey Logano became Sliced Bread. Herbert’s going to root for Miller Lite, and Bernice is already leaning toward Furniture Row.