Picking Dumb, Day 2

Like the Painted Desert, I have no idea where my bowl picks came from.

Like the Painted Desert, I have no idea where my bowl picks came from.

[cb_profit_poster Lottery1]Clinton, S.C., Tuesday, December 31, 2013, 10:25 a.m.

Do not, repeat, do not bet based on my bowl picks. Lug Nut knows better. (John Clark photo)

Do not, repeat, do not bet based on my bowl picks. Lug Nut knows better. (John Clark photo)

This is going to be a brief blog, a mere update on the project of Monday, which was to predict football games solely on the basis of frivolous details. I went 3-1, missing only Texas Tech’s late-night victory over Arizona State because I figured the team from Tempe would enjoy a Holiday (Bowl) in San Diego better than one from Lubbock.

No word on how the Red Raiders fared at the beach, or if they even went there.

“Just” three bowl games are today. The first is a tough pick: Arizona vs. Boston College at the AdvoCare V100 Bowl in Shreveport, La. At first glance, both schools would seem out of place in Louisiana. I have driven through Shreveport many times but stopped only once and that was to have dinner at the Longhorn. Shreveport is loaded with casinos, so I’m picking the Wildcats because they are, oh, about a large western state away from Las Vegas, and Las Vegas trumps Mohegan Sun.

The AutoZone Liberty Bowl – all my visits to AutoZone have been noteworthy for the liberty I felt perusing the shelves – pits Mississippi State vs. Rice. I hope Rice wins – for years I have referred to the Owls as the Krispies – but I just see the Bulldogs, or, for that matter, any team called Bulldogs, as being better suited to “Memphis, Tennessee,” long-distance information or not. If only Rice had played in the Fight Hunger Bowl … That game was in San Francisco, and Rice-A-Roni is “the San Francisco Treat.”

Finally, the Chick-Fil-A Bowl in Atlanta pits Duke against Texas A&M. If Chick-Fil-A sandwiches came with mayonnaise (we love Duke’s around here), I’d pick the Blue Devils, but they don’t. My late friend, David Poole, a Chapel Hill man, used to call Duke “the University of New Jersey at Durham.” No way that team is going to beat Johnny Manziel/Football/Paycheck in Atlanta, which, I think, is the kind of place where Johnny Paycheck is going to let the good times roll.

Solidifying my pick is the fact that the real Paycheck had a hit song set in Atlanta, “The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised,” where he was in a stolen car and almost out of gas, needed some money and had lately learned how to get it fast. Manziel and the Aggies are accustomed to duress.

Relax. It’s bowl season, and it’s like an NCAA basketball pool. The ones who do all the research never win.

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About Monte

For 20 seasons, I mostly wrote about NASCAR. I'm still paying attention, but I'm spending more of my time these days writing novels and songs. I try to blog regularly on whatever happens to strike my fancy.
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