Clinton, South Carolina, Friday, November 29, 2019, 6:06 p.m.
I’m a bit sluggish. It’s not because of Thanksgiving dinner because that’s not going to be until Saturday night in my family. I’m sluggish because of Thanksgiving, though.
I watched the Bears beat the Lions, and the Bills beat the Cowboys, not very much of the Saints beating the Falcons, but most of the Bulldogs beating the Rebels, who were playing college ball during the final pro game. I wouldn’t have missed the Egg Bowl for the all the deviled eggs on the menu of the feast. My niece’s first husband was a man of few culinary likes. One time he ate about three quarters of the deviled eggs an hour before the meal started. My mother just quietly started boiling more eggs, doing a slow boil herself.
I’m sure a Mississippi running back named Elijah Moore is a nicer kid than most of who saw him think. I saw a typo in a department store ad that invited the kids to come see Satan between 5 and 9 p.m. Moore could handle that assignment, though my suspicion is that it will actually be jolly old Santa, not Satan there. It had never occurred to me that the letters were the same.
Satan, uh, I mean Moore, scored what might have been a touchdown that sent the game into overtime, but he celebrated by crawling across the end zone and then raising his right leg to mimic a bulldog – a Mississippi State Bulldog – relieving himself. A 15-yard penalty ensued, as well as a missed extra point from 35 yards instead of 20. Ole Miss immediately became Ole Piss. He had scored on a run-and-piss play, and thus was the Egg Bowl cracked on national TV.
Civility. That’s what the world lacks.
Today Virginia ended a 15-game losing streak against Virginia Tech. As a reward, the Cavaliers get to play Clemson in the Atlantic Coast Conference championship game. Good luck with that.
It takes a 6-6 record to be “bowl-eligible” nowadays. Mississippi State can thank Elijah Moore. Eventually the world forgot about Tommy Lewis, the Alabama player who came off the bench to tackle Rice’s Dicky Moegle in the Cotton Bowl. That was in 1954, so Moore may have a long time to wait.
A powerhouse by comparison, Texas (7-5), defeated Texas Tech. Iowa prevented Nebraska from being bowl-eligible by defeating the Cornhuskers in Lincoln.
I like to watch Washington play Washington State each year because I think the Huskies’ Chris Peterson and the Cougars’ Mike Leach are among the nation’s finer college coaches. I’m satisfied I’ll have the South and Central Floridas on tonight.
In the morning, I’m going to the stadium myself. There won’t be a game there. We Furman partisans who are unable to make the trip to Clarksville, Tenn., to see the Paladins play Austin Peay (continuing the urine theme) in the FCS playoffs are going to gather in the same location we gather before home games to watch on a big-screen TV. I’m satisfied we’ll watch a little of Clemson at South Carolina beforehand, either that or the always insignificant battle between Michigan and Ohio State.
Paladin, Paladin, where do you roam / Paladin, Paladin, far, far from home.
After I hustle back to Clinton, seriously ready for long-awaited turkey and gravy, I’ll show up at my nephew’s house about dark, having undoubtedly listened to the Furman post-game show unless they lose and I’m in no mood for it.
Then all will be back to normal on Sunday, when the usual pro football is on.
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